Well, life is just flying by as usual! During the week, we usually don't have too much going on. Well, except for all my doctors' appointments. But we've been busy pretty much every weekend, and it doesn't seem to be ending anytime soon! I guess that's summer for you!

I had an ultrasound yesterday, and Josh finally got to go too. I've had several ultrasounds already, but they've all been in Albany during the day, so he hasn't been able to go with me. But this one was with my regular doctor in the late afternoon. I guess this is the ultrasound where you would find out the sex, but at the beginning of this pregnancy we both decided that we wanted to wait. Josh wanted to see if he could guess what it was, and he thought he figured it out. But I honestly didn't see anything! The legs were tight together the whole time, and I tried not to look too closely. :)

I love ultrasounds though. I could just look at them forever. Seeing how they are all balled up inside you, perfectly content. And this baby is very limbre! We couldn't even see it's face very well, because it's legs and feet were right by the face blocking the view!

I've also been feeling faint movement the last couple of days, which is reassuring! I thought with this being my third, I would feel it a lot sooner. So I was getting worried when at 20 weeks I really wasn't feeling much of anything. The ultrasounds were showing alot of movement though, so I wasn't too worried. But at this point, it's like I NEEDED to feel it move! I guess because I'm in the middle stage of just "feeling fat" that I needed to be reminded that there is a baby inside of me! That sounds silly even to me!

I've been talking to Hannah and Elijah about having another baby. They now point to my belly and say "Baby" but I don't think they fully grasp the idea of what's going to happen. Elijah tells me all the time that he wants to see the baby, which is really cute. So hopefully, the transition will go smoothly. I won't lie and say I don't think about it every day. Because I do. I'm trying to give all my worries to the Lord. I know He's holding me in His hands, and we'll make it through! I'm just going to enjoy this time with my two little ones! :) And don't worry if you don't see or hear from me after the baby, I've conceded to the fact that I might just become a hermit for a few months! :)

Five Amazing Years!

Today marks the 5th anniversary of being married to the most incredible man! And since it's our anniversary, I feel I have the priviledge to brag a little bit! :)

It all started in high school. We were both attending the same church, and that is where we first met. We instantly became friends. He was so witty and funny, that it was hard to stay away! He could always make me laugh. The only problem, back then, was that he is three years younger than me. It's not a big deal now, but back then it was major. I mean, I was 15 and he was 12!! So I made it a point that we were only friends!

Well, going through high school we definitely had our ups and downs as friends. I had a boyfriend, and he didn't like that very much. So he kept his distance. But we always remained friends, and we would understand each other so well that we even joked about being soul-mates!

My senior year of high school, my boyfriend and I were having issues so I decided to take Josh to my senior prom. I didn't want any drama that night, and I knew I would have a fabulous time with him! That was one of the best decisions I've ever made! We had such a good time! He was so handsome and gentlemanly, that I think I really started seeing him as something more than a friend that night! But of course, I wouldn't admit that..to him or to myself!

Well, I went off to college and started dating other guys, and he was so faithful to still be my friend in all that. But then, I think it just got to him. He got really upset with me, and literally didn't speak to me for the rest of that college year. I was living in the dorms, so I had to move back home for the summer. He was around, and it was like a fly to glue paper..we became inseperable! We literally did everything together! We hung out every weekend, played on a volleyball team, went ghosthunting! Then he invited me to his parents river house on the fourth of july. I went down there, and really saw how he related to his family. I can even remember the moment I knew I was in love with him. He was sitting on the porch, and his younger sister Abbie (like 7 years old at the time) came and sat in his lap, and he was so great with her. I honestly started imagining having kids with him right there!

And then everything just kinda fell into place! We started dating, and it was so wonderful! I couldn't believe I was seriously falling in love with my best friend. We dated for 2 1/2 years, and then he asked me to marry him! There was no doubt in my mind, I knew he was the one meant for me!

Now, today, I cannot believe that 5 years has already gone by! We've had our ups and downs, but I have never for one second regretted saying "I do" well in our case it was "I will." We have two amazing children, and one on the way!

Josh is such an amazing father. Even thinking about this makes me tear up! He is so great with them, and their faces just light up as soon as he comes in the door. I don't even exist anymore, because they just want to be with their daddy. Even after he works 12+ hours doing a very laborous job in the sun, he comes home and gives 100 percent to them! And to me! He works hard to allow me to stay at home with my children, and I am so grateful to him!

More than that, though, he is a wonderful husband. Sometimes I know I can be hard to handle, and he is so patient with me. He never complains. SERIOUSLY, never complains! And he loves me unconditionally! I used to have a much worse temper. (Must be that redhead in me!) But since I've married Josh, I think he's rubbing off on me. He's so calm and patient, and it's exactly what I don't have. He honestly just makes me a better person!

So, for my baby, on our anniversary: I just want to say Thank you! Thank you for loving me and the babies with every part of your being. Thank you for working hard to provide for us, and never complaining. And most of all thank you for being the awesome man of God that you are! For being the spiritual head of our household, in which I know that you are making decisions for our lives based on guidance from the Holy Spirit. I love you so much, and I'm excited about the rest of our lives together!

Weird doctor's visit.

So, last thursday I had another doctor's visit with my regular obstetrician. Except, it's not my regular one. This one's weird!

Here's the story. I go to the Adcock Center, which I have for both my babies. And I used to see Dr. Adcock. This man is honestly one of the most caring, compassionate people I've ever met. He's easy to talk to, and really wants to know how you are doing. And even better, he's a Christian. I love this about him! After he delivered both of my babies, he gave them a small Bible. In the Bible, he would write a special scripture and message. Then he prayed with us! You really don't find many doctors like this!

Well, last year Dr. Adcock was in a really bad accident. He was running and got hit by a car. He suffered from a pretty bad brain injury and has been out of the office ever since. He's doing good, though, but no one really knows when he'll be back. They keep saying he'll be back sometime this year.

In the meantime, they have another doctor filling in for him. And Thursday I met him for the first time. I had been seeing the midwife, but because of all the issues they went ahead and put me with him. He is...so strange. He's really old, and really small. He came into the room, and started asking me all these questions. He didn't even take the time to read my chart to know what was going on, so I had to explain everything to him. When he did the baby's heart beat, he did it so fast that I couldn't even take a minute to listen. And he didn't say anything about how fast it was or if it sounded good, just took the thingy off and wiped off the gel with his hand! This part of the visit literally took less than 5 minutes.

Then, he asked me if I worked. I told him I stay at home with my kids, and he asked if I used to work. So I told him I used to work in a vet's office in Valdosta. He proceeded to ask me a MILLION questions about who I worked for, if I knew this person or that, and what kind of dogs they had. I think he talked to me for AT LEAST 20 minutes about his german shepherds!! It was soooooooooooo strange! I mean, I like animals as much as the next person. But I don't want to discuss this at my prenatal visit. I want to know about my baby!!!

Anyways, I was completely dumbfounded when I left. And I've been praying daily for a quick return of my precious Dr. Adcock. I need him. I do not want this weirdo delivering my baby!

What a week!!

This week has been...exhausting!!

It all started last Sunday night when Elijah started getting sick. He was running a fever that afternoon, and then that night he woke up every 2 hours screaming. I went to check on him but had no idea what was going on, so I would just hold him for a while. Then in the early morning, he started this really weird cough. I had never heard anything like it. It was like the sound of a seal barking! And every time he coughed, he would scream out in pain. So I called the doctor and got an appointment. We went in and she immediately said he has croup, which is an imflammation of the upper respiratory system. It affects the voice box, larynx, and the windpipe. She said it gets worse at night, and to be especially careful with him because it can cause their airways to close up and they can't breathe. And because of his previous breathing problems he was at a higher risk! Way to put fear into someone!!

Anyways, we got some medicine and went back home and that day was rough. He wouldn't eat or drink, and he acted like he was in pain all day. I was constantly just feeding him ice chips to keep him hydrated, and he seemed like it made him feel better too. When we put him to bed, Josh and I prayed over his body for healing and to keep his airways clear. He still woke up through the night, but the cough was alot better. I think I woke up more than him just checking on him. The next day was pretty rough, but he started eating and drinking so I knew he was feeling better.

The doctors said it was contagious, so I was hoping Hannah wouldn't get it too. She started running a fever a couple of days ago but it hasn't developed into the cough. Hopefully it won't. But she obviously doesn't feel good. I found her asleep on the couch this morning, which has never happened.

This sickness has probably been the worst to deal with! I would never wish this on anyone! And with two puny babies, this house has not been very happy! We've basically been hulled up inside so that we don't spread it to anyone. We did venture out to Josh's softball game last night, because I thought it might be a good diversion. But I kept them away from kids just in case.

Now, I have a pretty nasty cold. Being sick with sick kids is not fun at all! Hopefully, Josh won't have to work tomorrow and maybe I can go somewhere for a few hours. Anywhere. I just need some sanity again!

Thus far..

Well, I think this is going to be a complete blog about my pregnancy thus far. So, if you don't want to read about it, feel free to skip over!

I am now almost 16 weeks, and I think I'm finally over the morning sickness. It was WAY worse with this pregnancy. I don't know if it actually was or it just felt like it because I was trying to take care of two babies while going through it. It is very difficult changing diapers while you are already feeling sick. So I'm definitely glad we are over that stage!

I have alot of issues though, so pregnancies are not easy. I'm considered "high-risk" because of several different things. First issue: Previous blood clot. When I was first married I got a blood clot in my leg that they think was caused by the birth control I was using. So I always am at risk of forming one again. And when you are pregnant you are at a higher risk of forming them again. So now I have to give myself blood thinners in the form of an injection. And the worst part, I have to inject it in the belly! Twice a day! My poor bruised belly.

Second issue: two previous pre-term babies. My first, Elijah, was actually born at 33 weeks- 7 weeks early! Looking back, wow, that's scary! At the time I had perfect peace, and I could definitely feel all the prayers. And he turned out to be fine! He had to be on oxygen for a few days, and we took him home in a week! It really could have been alot worse. I know God was protecting my little boy! Then when I was having my second, Hannah, she tried to come about the same time. Luckily this time, I kinda knew what to expect, so we made it to the hospital in time to stop my contractions. I was then put on bedrest, and had to take a medicine every 4 hours to keep the contractions at bay. We made it all the way to 37 weeks which was definitely an accomplishment! This time they want me to start Progesterone injections to help with preterm labor. I haven't completely decided if I want to do it. It's a weekly shot, in the butt!! And I don't really know much about it...

Third issue: Gestational diabetes. I had it with both my babies. So I had to be on a special diet, and check my blood sugar like 4 times a day. The issue with this is that when you have it, your body doesn't produce enough insulin to counteract the glucose (sugar) in your bloodstream. This can be harmful for the baby, because the glucose can go straight to the baby. This can cause the baby to gain more weight, which can lead to pre-term labor and other issues. So they tested me early for it this time, and I failed the first test. They then do a longer, more comprehensive test to test you again. And I passed!! I was so happy! Because I really didn't want to start that strict diet so early. I'll have to take the test again around 28 weeks, but that's fine!

Because of all the issues I have to see a specialist in Albany. I have to see him every month for now, and they do an ultrasound every time to make sure there are no problems. I also have to see my regular doctor once a month for prenatal visits, and I have to also go get regular blood tests done to make sure the blood thinners are doing what they need to. Anyways, the ultrasounds are cool..but all the visits are just exhausting! I don't take the babies with me, because I can't watch them when I'm being seen...so I have to find babysitters as well.

It's been hard this time around. I feel resentful every time I give myself a shot. I just wonder why all of this had to happen, and why can't I just have normal pregnancies. I'm constantly worried about something. If I wake up with a pain in my leg or chest, do I have another blood clot?? A weird feeling in my belly, was that a contraction?? I know God is taking care of me, but it's hard not to worry when you are pregnant. But I'm dealing with it. I know it could be a lot worse.

I know this whole post sounds like a big complaint. I'm sorry. But sometimes I just need to complain and get it out there. To clear things up, though, I feel very blessed to be pregnant again. Even with the issues. I love my children more than anything, and I would go through 100 times worse just to have them! I know this baby is only going to be a blessing, and I really am very excited! I promise to be more positive next time! :)

Big News!

It's been a while since I've written, but it doesn't mean that not much has happened! Just the opposite, A LOT is going on right now! I just haven't written because it's hard for me to keep secrets!

Now that I've kept you waiting, here's the news: We're having a baby!!

I'm 15 weeks already today, which is CRAZY! It's going by very, very fast! Way too fast! I'm still adjusting to the news myself these days. We were waiting to announce it until we had a few doctor's visits and an ultrasound to make sure things were going good. And they are. Things look normal, and my due date is set for October 19!

To be completely honest, though, I was not prepared to be pregnant just yet. I mean, we've always known we wanted more kids and that God was pushing us towards more, but I felt like it would at least be a few more months to a year. So, the day I took the test and it was positive, I just sat down and sobbed. And I really think I cried for about 2 weeks straight. I know that sounds bad, but with two small children at home..I honestly wondered if I could handle another baby right now. And selfishly, I just wanted my body to myself for a little longer. I had been pregnant/breastfeeding for almost 3 years straight!!! I had just finished breastfeeding Hannah approximately one month before I became pregnant again. And, I was losing all the weight from both pregnancies and was getting into clothes that I wore when I was first married! I was really starting to feel good, and my own woman again!

But God is so faithful! And He has such great plans for my life, way beyond my imagination! It took me a little while to become adjusted, but God has been with me the whole time. And I can definitely feel His peace in this situation! He will never give me more than I can handle (even though it might not be easy, either)! And He's definitely reminding me of all the things I love about little babies. The snuggle times, their complete dependence on me, and just being so cute and soft! So I'm really getting excited about our new little bundle of joy!

Anyways, just wanted to share our good news and I'll be back to post more about this pregnancy so far!

I'm having an emotional day!

I don't have these too often, but today I just woke up crying and haven't been able to stop! It's alot of different things piled into one, but the biggest one is just thinking about today being "Good Friday." We've been doing a Passover play at our church, and Josh and I have been helping. He is one of the disciples, and I've been helping serve. Just being there makes you think back to what it must have been like for Jesus that night. Knowing that he was going to be betrayed, knowing he would be crucified very soon. I can't even imagine. And all for me?

I can't help but to bawl my eyes out when I think about God watching Jesus grow up. From being a baby to a toddler, a child, a teenager, and then an adult. Jesus was His Son and He watched Him grow up, and yet He knew one day He would be crucified. For me. When I think about my own children, that's really hard to think about. That kind of love is unbelieveable, unconceivable, to my human mind. And yet God loves us that much. Thank you Lord for loving me that much!

I must go now, I can't even see what I'm writing through these tears!