So many thoughts..Part 1

Well, I know I haven't blogged in a while, but things have really been crazy around here lately.  And I just have so many thoughts these days...good and bad..about everything.  I honestly don't even know where to begin.

Well I'll start at the beginning.  One night, when Josh wasn't home (some sport calling him away..) I was super tired and really just wanted to relax in the bath with a book.  So I got all the babies in bed at a decent hour, but I couldn't find a book to read.  I started searching the book shelf, and all by chance (or maybe not!) I found Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover. I think we've had this book for about 3 or more years, and I've skimmed it but could never really get into it.  Well, this time I had an INTENSE desire to read it! So I drew my bath, and relaxed with reading it. :)  I immediately saw some of the things he talked about in our lives, and I got super excited!  I wanted to do our own makeover!  So when Josh got home, we talked about it..and he said he's been wanting to do something too! We talked about the steps and what we were going to have to do.  We decided right then and there that we were going to take control of our finances, and get back on track.

All around the same time, we found out that the construction company that Josh worked for was slowing down.  They had several jobs lined up, but they were all falling through.  And the bossman told Josh that it looked like they might be out of work for the next 3 months.  Not good. Not good at all. Immediately Josh started looking for another job. He applied for several jobs online. The next day Lowe's called him in for an interview.  That same day, a friend was generously giving us a stove for our rental house, and she told Josh about another job that might be available.  He went in for the interview with Lowe's and it went good. Then he called about the other job and was scheduled to meet with the boss on Monday.  Things were going good!

That same weekend, Josh's parents left to go on a cruise for a week.  We had been planning for a while to do a home makeover while they were gone.  Josh's mom had this plan of tearing down the wall between the living room and den, but it just wasn't happening for her.  So the kids left in Moultrie decided that we would do it for her while she was gone, and repaint the den, living room, and kitchen as well. They left on Sunday, and we started the demo. It surprisingly didn't take long at all to tear the wall down.  But looking at the gaping hole, I started to wonder what we had gotten ourselves into.  I went home that night and said to Josh, "We just tore your parent's wall down." It was definitely surreal. There was no going back now...

Here are a few pictures of the first day!

TO BE CONTINUED....

Things that make me feel old...

So, last night I woke up with Rachel, but when I put her back to sleep I just layed there for a long time. With sleep eluding me... Anyways, during that time I started writing this blog in my head, so I wanted to write it before it went away. haha :) Well, I am officially 28 today. You know how you used to get so excited about your birthday, well now I just think about it making me another year older. I don't know when I reached this point, but it's here. Birthdays are still fun though! But there are several things in life that are just making me feel old these days!

1. Just the number. 28. That's 2 years away from 30! I honestly still feel like I could be in my early college years. And I know that 30 is not old, but it just kinda snuck up on me!

2. Questionnaires. You know when you are filling out quesstionnaires on the internet, and they ask for your birthyear. I always look at the top, where my birthyear used to be when I was 18. Now there are 10! other years in the way! I sometimes have to SCROLL down to find 1983!!

3. American Idol. They had a show this week where they sang songs from their birthyear. EVERY SINGLE CONTESTANT is younger than me! And the years they were born. 1995! How are these people not still in diapers? Not to mention that I think I'm either past or nearing the age of trying out for American Idol. Not that I ever would want to, but just the fact that I wouldn't be allowed to because I'm too old. Wow.

4. Gas. This may sound strange, but the price of gas these days makes me feel incredibly old. I can honestly remember putting gas in my car for $0.79. 79 CENTS!!! With gas nearing 4 dollars, it seems impossible that that was even possible for my generation. I know gas has been soaring for the last few years, but still. I can already hear myself telling my kids, "When I was your age, I used to pay under a dollar for gas!" And then their eyes bulge with thinking of how old I am!

Anyways, it's so very strange to think of my age. Not that I would want to go back to college age, I just feel like I'm not mature enough to say I'm 28. But I guess I am. I have a wonderful marriage and I am a mother to 3. I feel secure in who I am. I even wanted to be done with having kids by the age of 30. Seems strange that I am so close to that time table. I don't think I have that cap set in my mind anymore now that I'm almost there. :)

I read an article this week about a new record for the youngest grandmother in the world. She's 23! To think that that's even a possibility is insane! At least I'm pretty far from that milestone!

5 months!

Well, I sit here and write while the rest of the house sleeps. Typical. And since Rachel is the one keeping me up, I figured I'd write a blog for her.

Tomorrow, she turns 5 months! I feel like with each child, time just slips away faster and faster. With Elijah, I was always ready for the next step. With Hannah, I think I was just in a sleep-dazed fog. But now with Rachel, I really want her to stay a baby. I just want to savor everything. I want to always be able to hold her, and its just going by so fast. I already miss her being in that newborn phase. Where she completely fit on the nursing pillow, and when I could hold her throughout the day while she slept completely secure in my arms.

But she's really been a good baby. Here are some of the highlights of this last month:

At the beginning of the month, she started rolling over. From her tummy to her back.

She can hold her head up really good while laying on her tummy.

She likes to sit up straight. Whenever you hold her in a reclining position, she tries to pull herself up to sit straight. And she really likes to sit in her bumbo seat while mommy works in the kitchen.

She's super wiggly now. When I hold her she's constantly moving something. When she nurses, she's usually hitting one of her feet against my side. And when she lays on her back, she has usually turned a full 360 degrees several times.

She's a pretty good sleeper. She usually naps about 3 times a day for about an hour or two sometimes. Not that she doesn't have bad days though where she napped for maybe an hour all day! And she usually sleeps good at night, waking up 1-2 times.

She loves her older brother and sister. She gets really excited when they come around, and they always get a smile. This is saying alot because she doesn't smile for just anyone. Most of the time, strangers get a bottom puckered lip when they come close!

She has a cute little laugh. She's very ticklish around her neck, and her inner thigh. And she laughs a lot when I'm laughing at something.

And her latest accomplishment: she rolls from her back to her tummy now! She just started doing this last night and has been consistently doing it today too.

So, that's my Rachel. She's still really small and just petite, which makes her so unique and cute to me! I'm still just exclusively breastfeeding her. She's so small that I really don't think she's ready for cereal. Or maybe it's me holding off. :) I think I might wait a little while longer though.

Anways, that's about it. And now Rachel needs some attention, so I must go!

Sleep...

Until I had a newborn, I don't think I really understood the impact that sleep (or lack thereof) had on my life. I mean, the amount of sleep I get really influences what kind of day I'll have. I really hate that. Why should something have such importance and a hold over my life?

Rachel sleeps pretty good most of the time. We had a pretty rough night last night though. She woke up several times, and really just acted like she wanted to be held. Hopefully it was just the shots from yesterday making her feel bad, and not a habitual thing.

I think the non-routine of it all is the hardest for me. One night she won't wake up, and I'll be ecstatic! Then the next night she'll wake up a couple of times. Inevitably, those wake-ful nights are the ones where I stayed up a little too long the night before. But I just never know what's in store.

And it's not just the sleep during the night that controls me. It's the nap schedules. I feel consumed with trying to figure out a good nap schedule for Rachel. She was taking 3 naps a day, but the times were very inconsistent. And then I thought we were developing a pattern. She would take a nap, then usually stay up for about 2 - 2 1/2 hours then take another nap. But that's all changed as well. She stays up for a lot longer, but I'm always doubting whether I should be putting her to sleep or not.

And not to mention the other two. They have a pretty regular naptime at about 1 to 1:30. But sometimes things interfere. Like church getting out late, a doctor's appt, or a birthday party. I'm always trying to plan around it. And now Elijah is getting older, so when do I stop giving him a nap? (never! haha)

Anyways, like I said...I really hate how consuming "sleep" is. I don't want to be affected by the number of hours I get at night. I want to have a good day despite it. I don't want to worry about when naps will take place.

I guess it's just a delicate balance. As a mother, you definitely have to think about these things. But I think I overthink it. If the babies miss a nap every once in a while, we will survive. I'm learning to not be so worried about it all, but it's definitely a work in progress!

4 Month Check-up!

Well, we just got home from the doctor. After a little over 2 hours of being there, we are finally home! It's already hard taking all 3 there, but trying to keep them entertained for 2 hours was literally exhausting! The babies are now sleeping, which gives me time to just take a nice relaxing breath! *long sigh*

We had to go to the doctor for Rachel's 4 month check up, even though she's really closer to being 5 months. She weighed 11.7 pounds, and was 24 3/4 long. He said she's definitely small for her age in weight, but a little long for her age on height. This only makes sense. Have you seen my husband and his family?? And he wasn't worried about it, because she's growing fine.

They all did really good though. Rachel only cried when she got the two shots. And boy, it was pitiful. That's always the hardest part. I also talked to the doctor about her spitting up so much, and he put her on some Zantac to see if that helps! Hopefully so. I'm so over the spitting up, and her and me both smelling like it! Eck!

In other news, Josh is still busy as usual with really no signs of slowing down. We all went to Valdosta yesterday to work on the house. I wasn't all that much help with watching the kids, but it was nice just to be together. I'm not sure our goal of finishing it before March will happen, we only have one week left! Where does all the time go? But he's going to work hard on it this week, so maybe it'll be done by mid-March. I'm very ready to have it rented and the extra money to come in! And for the extra time to go towards working on our house!

That's all for now. Might try to lay down for a few while they are all sleeping! :)

I got my wish...

Well, soon after I blogged yesterday, Josh called and said they got rained out of work. So he went and did some work at the Valdosta house, and then he was home for lunch with nothing to do the rest of the day! This was really what I needed! Just some time together. So we ate lunch, and put the babies down for naps together, and then we took a nap ourselves! It was so wonderful! It really doesn't take much to make me happy!

Life feels so hectic right now...

There is so much going on right now in our life. It's almost overwhelming at times. As I sat down with Josh last night after we got home from a Superbowl party, I got super sad because we were about to go to bed and another whole week of busyness was about to begin. Another whole week of not seeing my husband, after a weekend of not seeing him. And I started thinking. The last time I've spent the whole day with him was New Year's weekend! And that's because we made a trip to the river, and you are forced to spend time together there! haha :) We need to make another trip very soon!

So, I'm really not the busy one. I mean, I definitely have my hands full with three kiddos, but Josh on the other hand has sooo much going on right now. And it's just been hard without him lately. And it's been weird, because I'm sad that we don't have more time together, but at the same time the things that are going on are super exciting as well. I can really see God moving, and things are starting to "gear" up!

So here's what's going on: First, Josh now has a full-time job. VERY blessed, and I am NOT complaining about this. After almost 6 months of little to no income, this has been such a blessing and I will never take a job for granted again! So 40+ hours are dedicated to that.

Second, Josh still runs his handyman business on the side. So when he gets off, he usually has some side jobs to work on as well.

Third, the Valdosta house we still own. We've had it on the market for about 3 months, and we've decided to take it off and rent it. So it still needs a little bit of work to get it ready to rent. Mostly just painting and refinishing the floors. And we have a goal to get it all done by the first of March.

Fourth, the church. Josh is the head of the "sports ministry," which he absolutely loves. He loves getting people together and playing all sorts of sports. Now with the new pastor, they want to expand that ministry and have a lot of new programs for people to be involved in. Which is really exciting! Then yesterday, we found out that they have submitted Josh's name to be a deacon! And not to mention, he also leads worship sometimes, and plays in the band!

And lastly, the volunteer firefighters. This one has to go by the waist-side (or is it waste side? hmm..) sometimes, but he is still involved. He feels a calling to it, and especially to the guys that he volunteers with. He hasn't actually fought any fires yet, he's still in the probationary stage. But they have meetings once a week that he tries to attend when he can. And he's now getting close to the end of his probation, in which they give you gear and a radio. (Honestly, I'm not as excited about this one!)

So, it feels like a lot right now. And with three kids 3 and under, one including a nursing infant that refuses a bottle, I'm not really available to help all the time. Which is frustrating sometimes, because I want to be out there with him painting or helping with a sports program.

I want to say one thing though. Josh handles all these areas wonderfully. He never puts us on the backburner, and never ever complains about anything. If it were me, I think I would be complaining about not ever getting a nap, or working so much. But he does it for us. And then he comes home, and helps me tremendously. I'm just selfish. Just writing about all this stuff makes me feel exhausted!

But I can definitely see God moving, which is what we wanted! I know this is just a hectic time for us, and things will calm down again.