Conclusion - Tweeking..

Recently, I've felt like everything in our lives was not working. But through everything that has been happening the last few weeks, I feel like God is using it all to change me.  For the better.  I like to call it "tweeking."  And although it's been hard and emotional, I know that it's for the best.

I know that God gave me the desire to read The Total Money Makeover.  I tried so many times before, and this time I just couldn't put it down.  And ever since my mindset changed about money, it feels like things began to work out.  I haven't been worried about finances for the last month, and this is so foreign.  I've literally worried about money for a year now.  And now there's freedom.  And hope.  I'm so excited about the future.  One of Dave Ramsey's sayings is "Live like no one else, so you can live like no one else."  Meaning you might make sacrifices now, but eventually you'll be able to have more and not be in debt.  I had to have a total mind change.  I was always seeing what other people had, and wanting it.  We live in a small two bedroom house, and I was always thinking about new houses or bigger houses.  And yes, it's hard.  But I'd rather live here, than worry about how the mortgage is going to be paid.  And more importantly, I'm blessed to have a home!

The accident really made me realize how important life is.  I know it sounds corny.  But things can happen so quickly.  I've never been in an accident going at high speeds, and it could have easily been a lot worse.  I've also never been in an accident with my children.  I'm so very thankful that they were all ok.  I can't even imagine my life without them.  It has really made me treasure all the moments with them- good and bad.

Hannah's tooth adventure really made me realize that I don't have control.  Life just happens, and I can't be afraid of it.  It may not have happened the way I wanted it too, but she's completely fine!  And she was so brave.  I would have never guessed that about her.  :)

I've been reading another blog called the "Time-warp Wife."  It's all about how to be a godly wife in modern times. What really got me interested was the cleaning section.  I do love to clean, but my house felt like it was overtaking me.  Not being here for a week started it all.  I love how she breaks things down by the day, so that you aren't overwhelmed.  And she even has lists to do deep cleaning every 6 months or so.  I love it!  But she also talks about how as a wife, we should have duties.  And I completely agree.  Josh works so hard all day, that I want him to be comfortable when he comes home.  That's the job God has given me as a stay at home mom.  Well, that and taking care of my children.  And I'm not perfect, and on bad days things might get neglected.  But I want to try my hardest. With cleaning the house, with making dinner, and especially with my children. 

So, yeah,  God is definitely tweeking me.  As a wife, as a mother, as a person.  But I still have a long way to go.  I still have a lot to do to get to the place I want to be.  And I'm still struggling in other areas.  Like in friendships.  (I honestly don't feel like we have any close friends.)  And in my self-image of myself.  (I'm trying desperately to shed some weight that just won't budge. I'm partly to blame. I eat when stressed.)

So, in conclusion to these crazy weeks, I'm going to work on better planning of my time. I need to start practicing self-control.  I think I'm going to give facebook a rest for a while too.  It's just a distraction for me.  And not even a good one. It makes me feel lonely.  And fake.  I will blog sometimes though, because it helps me to get my thoughts out! 

But that's all for now.  Thank you to all who followed our crazy adventures! I'm going to go enjoy this wonderful weather with my children! :)